I was in Cartons, a café in the Broadway, Stanmore: nice place, friendly staff, a long menu featuring multiple variations on eggs Benedict, copies of the Jewish News (‘Your free weekly of the year’) lying around if you need one to help pass the time.
I had the Sausage, Bacon and Cheese Panini, so obviously Cartons doesn’t cater solely for a Jewish clientele. It looked like this with, as you see, a little garnish of salad:
And after the waitress had set down the plate she asked me if I wanted any dressing and I said what kind do you have.? And she replied or anyway I thought she replied, French, mayonnaise or sour cream.
And I thought how nice it would be to have a little sour cream dressing with the salad and sandwich so I asked for that, or thought I did, and the waitress brought over this:
She had said Salad Cream. I had heard sour cream.
Yes, it’s true, I have become an unredeemable sophisticate in matters of salad dressing. I am not a man with impossible demands, but with impossible expectations.
No such problem at Rio’s Coffee Lounge, Walthamstow. What you see here is one tuna panini, one chicken and avocado panini (shared). No salad. Salad always complicates everything.