DON'T CALL AN EXPERT

Obviously, anybody who calls themselves an "expert"  is to be seriously distrusted, and yet I can't deny that I wish somebody, somewhere. at some time had called me a "sandwich expert."  Don't you?

I wouldn't call myself a "sarnie professional" either, though I have made sandwiches professionally, by which I mean I was paid for it (not very well, of course).

I choose not to acknowledge what "sandwich condiment game" might mean. 

The sandwich in question looked like this, apparently.